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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a widespread assault on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal habits suggesting a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your decision to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {