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We've been friends for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been constantly caught off guard by others. Her partner walked away, which came as an unexpected event. Several of her friends disappeared then, since they had been focused solely on him. This surprised her. She put in more effort to be my friend, probably realised better what friendship was.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Throughout this period, quite a few in her circle have disappeared without her being certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing frequent meetups, but I am finding the part I play in our friendship feels one-sided. I open discussion points and she changes conversation onto her own topics. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend verifying facts or other angles.

She has been planning a holiday to a nation I know well on several occasions even called home previously. I tried to offer advice, however, my input not welcomed. She really just desired validation of her choices. I have come back from a month in that country she is eager to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to be a friend that walks away abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the consequences of her behaviour on my confidence. Currently, my state is pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome that we desire. But confrontation aiming for resolution takes courage and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one involves describing what typically happens in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. Next is to express the way it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no dispute about this. What you feel belong to you, naturally. Step three involves requesting how you are both will alter the interaction in your relationship."

Consider she too has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to hear that. An approach that works is to say her:

"Now you talk while I will remain silent for a set time."

It's wildly effective to encourage understanding.

Final Thoughts

She might reject all you say, since certain individuals cling to a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a version of their life they won't let go of because their very survival is tied to it and it's all they trust. This poses a challenge because there's no thoroughfare with these people, only cul-de-sacs. But she may at first react defensively then consider on your words. If a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have peace from having been honest with her.